I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
