dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No subtext here. People are naked.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
