I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
