yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
