Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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