Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I party with great urgency now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
