I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
