I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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