Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
