Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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