Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
