Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
