We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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