I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize