It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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