is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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