His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
