Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize