well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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