I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
