Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
