I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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