so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize