I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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