oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Randomize