Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
