yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
