her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
