i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
