i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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