Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
