so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He has the fingertips of a God
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