Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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