oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
