I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
