I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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