I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
