I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize