i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm at about main and main street
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
