one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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