what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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