What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
