The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
