im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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