when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Two words: blizzard sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize