that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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