I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
