yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
