yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
