I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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