i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
