I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
