quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
