even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
