I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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