I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
