Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
