yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
