so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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