we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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