every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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