Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry shemp hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

Fav 18 1009 5157
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.

Fav 30 9545 1508
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

Fav 9 1732 3437
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

Fav 6 3992 1267
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

Fav 10 4331 1077
share tweet
(320): View more from Minnesota

don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING

Fav 7 3522 980
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(774): View more from Massachusetts

Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

Fav 14 3759 1041
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(514): View more from Quebec

I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic

Fav 0 297 152
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?

(661): View more from California

i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.

Fav 0 34 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT